Fallout Thoughts

One year ago today…  I am so glad to be alive.  Thanks, Jesus.

Over the past week, we’ve experienced two flavors of adventure. 

Flavor one - “Unplanned”.   Flavor two, I’ll call “Its the Little Things”. 

Enjoy.  :)

Monday

“Unplanned” - E-man recovers from being up all night with the stomach flu.  Tim and Steph recover from taking shifts being up all night with him.  Tim winds up with the least sleep, and tries to work while feeling like a zombie.  His sleep patterns remain wonked out for several days.

“Its the Little Things” - I insist that SOME of the cartoons E-man and J-man watch all day are new.  The boys are exposed to Wild Kratts and the modern Electric Company.  E-man claims he doesn’t like either.  J-man likes Wild Kratts.  

Tuesday

“Unplanned” - E-man is still home sick, and Tim and Steph are still cranky. 

“Its the Little Things” - OK, I admit it.  On Tuesday, I pretty much just gave up.  

Wednesday

“Unplanned” - Steph feels extremely unintelligent (and nearly blacks out) when she sprains her foot while carrying J-man piggyback down a flight of stairs wearing clogs.

 

After a doctor’s visit, she is suited up with some crutches.  That night, at a friend’s house, J-man vomits.

“Its the Little Things” - J-man gets to play video games on PBSkids.org without his big brother leaning over his shoulder and giving him unwanted gaming advice.  At the doctor’s office, he gets to push Mama in a wheelchair and figure out how the brakes work.  He finds out what crutches are.  In the life of a 4 year old, this is groundbreaking stuff.  He gets to know our friend Alita, who finds out that 4-year olds are blunt - “I don’t feel like talking to you right now.  Please stop asking me questions!”.

Thursday

“Unplanned” - J-man hasn’t thrown up anymore, but he wakes up with a high fever and clawing at one of his ears.  Steph uses her nifty rented crutches to take J-man to the doctor’s office via the bus.  J-man is diagnosed with a possible sinus infection, and has his ears washed out to remove some solidly lodged wax.  The ear-washing procedure includes a body lock, screaming, and three Samoas.  

“Its the Little Things” - J-man gets to ride the bus, to be the one to swipe my bus card on the blue detector when we board, as well as the one to pull the cord when we need to stop.  At home, J-man watches some Sesame Street clips (a show he has never before seen) on PBSkids.org.  After E-man arrives home from his playdate, he decides to make his injured mama some dinner.  It was yummy (The recipe “Noodle Soup” from Pretend Soup by Mollie Katzen).

Friday

“Unplanned” - Steph woke up early in the morning with the stomach flu.  After 6 hours of witnessing her violent illness (crutches ditched in favor of crawling), Tim cancels his plans to attend the church men’s retreat for the weekend.  He has never been more attracted to Steph than at this moment.  :)

“Its the Little Things” - Due to Mama’s illness, J-man joyfully returns to his friend the living room computer, where he plays games AND watches clips AND full length shows on PBSkids.org.  Mama contemplates sending PBS some money to thank them for providing childcare.  J-man sees loads of new stuff, including Sid the Science Kid, Super Why, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, Martha Speaks, The Cat in the Hat, Curious George, Wild Kratts and his old favorite, Dinosaur Train.  J-man is convinced he has died and gone to heaven.  

Saturday

“Unplanned” - Steph is mostly just a recovering lump on the couch.  The boys use all their powers of whining to resist their given tasks of eye exercises and cleaning up their toys around the house.  Tim figures he might as well start on the taxes, heralding the usual quiet swearing coming from the back room.  Just before Tim and the boys head out to visit some dear friends, J-man throws up again.  J-man starts sobbing when told he has to stay home with me.

“Its the Little Things” - Josiah and I watch “Babe” while Tim and E-man are gone.  J-man does really well, and only gets worried enough to leave the room once.  We enjoy a new flavor on our popcorn, courtesy of Savory Spice’s “Smoky Hills Cheese Powder”.  Josiah eats it without incident, indicating that his vomiting was likely caused by coughing, and not to catching Mama’s virus.  Later that evening, E-man and J-man got to play a link-up Wii game of Mario Kart with friends.  Tim and Steph watched Star Wars Episode V after the boys went to bed, and instead of multi-tasking with electronic devices while watching the movie, they snuggled and HELD HANDS!!!!  (gasp!)

Sunday

“Unplanned” - Steph still feels light-headed, and everyone stays home from church.  Boo!

“Its the Little Things” - The boys wrestle on the living room floor, and I took pictures of them instead of peeling them apart to get them dressed.  

Tim went to a coffee shop for some alone time (finally), and while he was away, the boys worked on their school valentines.  J-man had lots of fun with glitter glue (I helped a little).  

E-man had a fabulous time with my paper cutter (E-man + crafty gadget = happy crafty E-man).  

They will eventually have glow-stick light sabers.  Here’s the link to the website with the pdf.  You’re welcome.  http://www.stitchcraftcreations.com/2012/01/30/forceful-valentines/

Tim took the boys swimming for the afternoon, and picked me up on the way home to take us all out for dinner.  We went to…  the Southern Sun.  Stout Month is totally sabotaging our culinary Adventure Month.  However, Tim once again gleefully enjoyed new Stouts, and all of us tried their honey curry hummus.  E-man even liked it!

We have weathered our first full week of Adventure Month with both frustration and humor.  Stay tuned for more, folks!  

Adventure: Any experience during which at some points you wish you weren’t there.  (As defined by Jon Roberts)

Today we planned to play hokey from church and go snowshoeing.  This is, in fact, what happened, but the results were, shall we say…  interesting.  

Tim was skeptical from the get-go.  J-man’s cough was gnarly, yesterday had been a busy day, and in normal circumstances, one outdoor gallivant a weekend is about all our over-scheduling-averse family can handle.  

However, there is something about the Arendt determination to “go through with the plan” that is difficult to shut down.  Arendt is my maiden name, and stubborn is sort of invisibly hyphenated at the back.  I don’t recall seeing it in the family genealogy, but I wouldn’t be surprised if one of my ancestors was in charge of the decision NOT TO GIVE UP at the Alamo.  I am AWARE that I have a problem giving up.  The nice thing about this is that it makes me a very loyal friend/spouse/mother/daughter/sister.  I have a history of not giving up on relationships, long past the point where it is obvious that whoever I was in relationship with either hates me or no longer has any interest in me.  My loved ones can generally count on me for large doses of grace.  The bad thing about this is that I am often not very flexible.  Knowing this, I had promised Tim that I would hold Adventure Month lightly.  But I was super duper DUPER excited about snowshoeing.  So, when Tim suggested we change our plans (gasp!), I admitted that J-man didn’t seem at his best, but I honestly thought that he wasn’t that bad (he was wrestling with his brother on the floor of the kitchen), and that I still wanted to give it a try.  

So, Tim suggested we sit down with the kids and have a family meeting.  Votes tallied as follows…

Me:  Snowshoe!!!!

E-man:  Snowshoe, because he wanted to go to the Rock Shop, and could we go ride the Light Rail in Denver next weekend so he could finally use his shiny new bus pass?

Tim:  Everyone stays home all day.  (I winced at the thought, since “active kids stuck at home for the day” is otherwise known to me as “the 4th circle of hell”.)

J-man:  ”Earn jewels for my rewards jar and buy a new toy when it is full…”

Ummmm…..  

“J-man,” I asked, “Do you know what snowshoes are?”

J-man hesitated…  

I got the snowshoes out of the garage and explained them to the kids.  They jumped for joy with excitement, and couldn’t wait to snowshoe!  I was relieved, and Tim conceded that he was outvoted.  I spent the next hour and a half packing snacks, snow things, waters, and haranguing the boys into getting dressed.  I privately assured Tim that it really was OK with me - IT REALLY WAS - if he wanted to stay home while I took the boys myself.  He said no, he did want to come, so we all piled into the car…  

except for J-man.  He went to put shoes on, and I explained that he would need boots.  He asked why.  ”Well, honey, its cold up in the mountains…” and he melted.  J-man, with aforementioned gnarly cough, already sounded like a cross between a mouse and Joan Rivers.  At this point, J-man plunked down on the floor and started sobbing and coughing and sobbing about how he didn’t want to go to the mountains, about how he wanted to stay in BOOOOOULDER, about how he didn’t waaaaaaant to go snowshoeing anymore.  While Tim and E-man were in the car with the engine running.  

The momentum was too much to stop at this point.  I picked him up and stuffed him in the car.  With a pang of guilt, I suggested to Tim that maybe he and J-man could stay home.  Tim said “No, we’re going”, and off we went.  

We got to Bear Lake, and put snowshoes on the boys.  They rejoiced….

for about 5 minutes.  Then I asked the ranger to take a picture of us as a family.  At which point, J-man assumed the following pose…  

Things proceeded pretty much predictably from there on out.  E-man had the time of his life playing in the snowshoes.  He gallivanted, racing up and down and off and on the trails.  He ate snow, rolled in snow, threw snow at every member of the family, and tromped around on the top of frozen lakes sporting cool air bubbles trapped in the ice.  He got his mineral souvenir afterwards as promised, and declared that he wanted to go snowshoeing again as soon as possible!  

J-man, on the other hand, was whiny and melty for a solid hour.  We hiked 0.5 miles up to Nymph Lake, nearly all of which I carried J-man piggyback.  

I was actually sort of enjoying the challenge, but what we didn’t predict was that with J-man riding on my back, he wasn’t moving around.  And when J-man wasn’t moving around, he got cold.  Very cold.  Very quickly.  Tim carried J-man down the trail, and by the time we returned to the car, J-man’s hands were like ice.  He said his feet were cold too, and his whines had transformed into hysterical hiccuping sobs, which could just barely be interpreted as saying…  ”I WAaaANT to go HOooOOOoooOME!”.  I was barely keeping my patience, and Tim had lost it long enough ago that he ordered all of us not to talk until he’d gotten to hear at least three U2 songs played at top volume in the car.  

J-man slept on the trip home, and we stopped by Larkburger for dinner.  It counted as new because I’d never eaten their chicken burger, which I must say was fantastic.  Before bed, I read the children the first book in the Magic Treehouse series.  E-man definitely got anxious at a couple of the T-rex parts, but I read really quickly and he never had time to let the anxiety get acute before the story resolved.  Apparently he is able to handle 5 minutes of dramatic tension without accompanying scary music, but not much more than that.  

We tucked the kiddos in bed, I curled up to write this post…  Aaaaaaand then E-man threw up.  And he’s been puking every 45 minutes since.  Shoot.  ”Hopefully” its food poisoning, so the rest of us aren’t likely to catch it.  Kudos here goes to Tim, who was my FULL partner in cleaning up E-man and his bunk bed.  Which is not a job for the faint of heart.  Yay Honey!  

Lessons learned.  

1.  Maybe wait a couple years before trying Larkburger again…

2.  E-man + gadget = happy E-man.  Pretty much no matter what we are doing.  

3.  Leave the grumpy emphysema-like child at home on adventure days, even if he has no fever and has been cheerfully harassing his brother all morning.  

4.  Get J-man better mittens and a couple more layers of socks when we next venture into the cold.  His mittens are actually pretty stellar compared to some stuff out there, but apparently they still aren’t good enough. 

Of course, its an even bet whether it was the mittens or just the lack of body movement that left J-man coldest, but I’m thinking we should focus on what we CAN control.  No power known to man can induce a 4-year old to move their body when they don’t want to, but we do have it within our power to acquire better equipment.  I plan on calling REI and asking for suggestions.  

Lastly, I think we’ve had enough outdoor adventures for a few days.  :)

Got any tips of your own for keeping smaller kiddos warm in the cold?  

I was a bit hampered in the start of adventure month by having an unexpectedly busy week.  I was selected to serve on a jury, and spent three days with a bunch of other jurors listening to a very very sad situation that had an even sadder resolution.  Sigh…  Of course, that meant that a lot of the Adventure Month preparatory grocery and supply shopping didn’t happen, but we managed to find some adventures anyways!

Yesterday, I opened the pack of “SlapJack” cards the boys had gotten for Christmas and taught them to play.  Despite the “You looked before you put it down!” and the “You slapped my hand too hard!”, they seemed to love it.  (E-man begged to play it again today.  Today, I did not let him win. We’ll see if that dampens his enthusiasm…) 

Tim and I paid homage to adventure month on our date that night, where we tried pork belly for the first time.  It was good.  Yum.  We topped it off with sea scallops that WEREN’T rubbery (who knew!), and some sort of expensive scotch that Tim had never tried before.  Good date.

Today, we found a number of other adventures to try.  For our traditional waffle breakfast, we tried an ever-so-slightly different waffle recipe.  

The boys scarfed it down.  I thought it was light, yummy, airy, but filling, everything a waffle should be.  I replaced a quarter of the white flour with wheat.  

In the afternoon, we went geocaching with a gps receiver loaned to us by a friend.  And it was a total TOTAL win.  E-man, our resident hike-hater, thought it was fabulous to track our progress on the receiver.  He kept reading out to us all the directional indicators.  ”Guys, we’re going west-northish now!”  ”Guys, we have 0.233 stepsmiles to go!”  He was literally kicking his heels together and skipping the whole way.  Tim and I were wondering if he’d been body snatched by aliens.  I mean, he wasn’t exactly admiring the scenery, but it sure was progress from his normal forced-march attitude.  The four year old was less than thrilled until we found the third cache.  The first two had contained only a log record, but the third was an actual treasure cache, complete with purple plastic necklace, Angry Bird ring, and toy pterodactyl.  We exchanged these treasures for offerings of our own.  We have the gps on permanent loan for the rest of the year, and are seriously considering purchasing another one on craigslist so as to avoid the “I get to hold it now!” arguments…  The day ended with smiles all round, and our family actually enjoyed one another OUTSIDE in the Colorado sunshine for an entire afternoon.  Tim and I haven’t been able to have a relaxing hike without hiring a sitter for nearly seven years.  This is BIG, people.  

We stopped by the Southern Sun on our way home.  Yeah, I know, we were supposed to be eschewing non-new restaurants, but I’d promised my patient spouse to hold Adventure Month lightly, and its Stout Month at the SS.  Anyways, Tim pointed out that he DID try new kinds of Stouts.  :)

We rounded off the evening with a new movie.  Eman was skeptical.  

“Mom, we gotta space OUT these adventures!  We’ve had plenty for today, mom, we don’t NEED any more!”

Tim and I vetoed him, and borrowed ”Homeward Bound” (1993 version) from the library.  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homeward_Bound:_The_Incredible_Journey

If you’ve seen it, you are aware that even its tensest moments are nearly completely innocuous.  We produced the same panicked behavior in Eman that we normally see at any hint of dramatic tension (this is the reason I gave up trying to read him “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” for the time being).  I responded by holding him in my lap, hiding his eyes on request, rubbing his back, and massaging his tense little arms and shoulders.  We also told him that “The Worry Monster” was trying to control his reactions, and that he didn’t have to let it.  It wasn’t exactly a relaxing family movie night, but he made it to the end (just), which we are counting as success.  I think I’m going to aim for one movie a week, and if this continues on par, I think we’ll head for the “Talking Doctor” (otherwise known as a child psychologist).  Or maybe experience will help the poor guy learn that tension is worth sitting through sometimes.  Jman even left the room once or twice, though he was quieter about his distress.  We talked afterwards about all the parts of the movie that we liked, and Eman shared that in one scene, he was praying, because he was worried that poor “Shadow” (a dog) wouldn’t survive.  I love my tenderhearted boy!

Tomorrow, we are going snowshoeing in Rocky Mountain National Park.  We are stealing the ideas of some friends and bribing our children with the promise of a visit to the Rock Shop afterwards.  Plus, my gadgety spouse has already looked up a couple of geocache locations along the route we’re planning!  Yay!  

Here’s to Adventures!

Hey there all - I’m posting over at my church’s blog today…  Yay!  

http://www.allsoulsboulder.org/tasting-psalm-84/

(Its good to be a medium-sized fish in a small pond)  :)

While most children (and adults, for that matter) are nervous about trying new things, we have determined that one of our children has an almost pathological fear of all things new and an ingrained lack of desire to push himself.  He also has a complete terror of dramatic tension.  This child, for his entire life, has had to be told “Yes, you CAN, and you’re going to try whether you like it or not!”.  Don’t think “tiger mother” here, think “mother tired of carrying around her enormous toddler who at 18 months clearly has no physical or mental handicaps and is getting heavier by the second”.  

Whether its crawling, walking, new schools, new foods, drawing a picture, trying out soccer, what have you… He flat out refuses to do new things unless forced (this even applies to ALL movies).  I am trying to read “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” to the kids, and this child runs to his room and hums loudly the whole time to avoid hearing about what’s happening.  

I recently read a lovely book called “Dinner: A Love Story” in which the author described doing a food “Adventure Month” where every single dinner for a month was new to the entire family, allowing the children to see how the adults handled new foods, and setting a healthy precedent for their food future.  Thirty new meals in a month seems ridiculous to me, but the general idea of practicing adventures sounds like exactly what our child needs.  Tim and I want so desperately for him to believe in himself, for him not to have his whole life ruled by fear, for him to have confidence and courage.  And for us to watch something other than “World’s Toughest Fixes” or “Dinosaur Train” on a Friday night for goodness freaking sakes!!!!  

Hence, I’m planning “Adventure Month”!  Hopefully, this will happen in February. Given that I’m a “planner” type and my spouse is a “spontaneous” type, I plan to be the one to make the plan, but I’ve promised my spouse to hold it lightly, to not freak out if it needs adjusting, and he has agreed to back me up in the implementation.  

Ideas are as follows….

1 - Food:  We try a meal that is new to ALL of us several times a week.  To be fair, this should include foods that stretch the taste boundaries of the adults as well as the kids, but should have half a chance in heck of at least one of us actually liking it (so no suggestions for Japanese desserts - the Japanese don’t really understand dessert, as far as I can tell).  

2 - TV/Movies:  When they get TV time during the week, the kids will have to watch a new show every time.  Not just a new episode, but an entirely new show every day that they watch TV (which isn’t every day) during the thirty days.  We would also watch a new movie as a family once a week.  I don’t think the movie needs to be new for the grown-ups, it just needs to be awesome and reasonably boy/kid-friendly.

3 - Books:  We read a new book every day of the month.  We also read through a novel together.  My ideas so far are to finish “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe”, and maybe read “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”?  I’m thinking Harry Potter is probably just too much of a stretch…

4 - Activities:  We should do an activity that is new to us once a weekend.  This could include visiting a new museum (something that isn’t an obvious kid-museum, like the art museum), learning a new sport (like I could try climbing or skiing for the second time in my life), going for a hike in a location new to some/all of us, or trying a new boy-friendly craft, cooking project, whatnot.  Lower cost activities would be preferable.

Note: Hiking has been an off-limits family activity ever since this child was born, because he seems not to understand the point of walking somewhere for no reason, he hates both wind and cold, he hates not knowing where he is, and continues to whine when we turn around and head back to wherever it is we came from.  You may be thinking “Tim and Steph are wimps!  Put up with the screaming and just do it, you guys!!”.  I defy you to do any better when a child is literally whining, crying and asking every SINGLE SECOND to turn around for a solid 45 minutes.  Tim particularly has felt that it isn’t worth pushing ourselves to the brink of committing child abuse.  This child is totally a gadget guy, but I am of the thrifty persuasion, and have not convinced myself it is worth it to invest the $80 or so it would take to get a kid-friendly geocaching device, nor would I trust my physically somewhat spastic child with my iPhone (for which I’ve heard you can get a geocache app).  We might need to suck it up and spend the money, though.  I have had trouble being motivated enough to find maps.  

I COULD REALLY USE IDEAS HERE!!!!!!

1 - How often in a week is it reasonable to cook the new foods?  I aim to cook dinner these days about three times a week - the other dinners are either eat out or leftovers or insta-dinners (things like popcorn, apples and cheese or cheese and refried bean quesadillas).  Possibly work out a way to do upgrades even on the insta-dinners?  New fillings in the quesadillas?  New fruit with the popcorn and cheese?  I could also totally use suggestions for new meals to try!  Bring it on!

2 - Books to read?  Throw me some favorites, everybody.  Both picture books, non-fiction books, AND novels to read aloud.  Our eldest is at reading level 2, and he loooooooves non-fiction (I have been known to fall asleep while reading him the “Encyclopedia of The History of Aviation”).  Youngest is more of a fiction dude and has an artistic bent.  

3 - TV shows and movies that would be good to try.  I would love ideas for some real classics.  Mister Rogers Neighborhood?  Square One?  Keep in mind that we don’t actually have a TV in the house, because we hate commercials (among other reasons).  Netflix and the library are our sources for TV.  And movies…  Miracle on 34th Street?  Maybe even some movies with awesome redeeming values and examples of excellent character?  Our kids are 4 and 6, so they need to be young family appropriate.

4 - Activities to try and how to do them.  

I’m talking to YOU, you crafty types!  Knot tying?  Wood construction projects?  The eldest is GREAT with tools!  The youngest has infinite patience for detailed crafts.

I’m talking to YOU, all you sporty/climbing/awesome types!  Our son LOVES to move his body, has great physical agility, he just has a lot of fear (um, and he also has no depth perception…  its complicated).  Also, Tim and I have team-sport-trauma from our childhoods, and we don’t watch sports, so our kids still don’t know the difference between a baseball and a football, which makes their interactions with other kids a little awkward at times.  They know what the “Tour de France” is, but not the World Series.  Yeah, we’re weird.  We could take him to a game of something?  What sport is “playing” in February?  

Is it too ambitious to focus on all four things in a month?  Maybe try one adventure theme each month for four months instead?

HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP!!!!

Make suggestions in the comments, and let me know ASAP if they aren’t working.  Suggestions in Facebook are also welcome.  I promise to report on the month - maybe even every day! - for your general amusement and inspiration.  :)

THE EVIDENCE…

In my last post, I introduced all of you to my current favorite theologian, Canon Kenneth Bailey.  I proposed a different picture of the Christmas story than the one most all of us grew up with, and I promised to post some evidence, as well as why its important to get the story straight.  Here in post #2, I give a short rundown of the evidence for this alternate story (trust me - this IS the short version).

But wait a minute, you say…  Luke 2:7, Stephanie - read it and weep!  “…because there was no place for them in the inn”.  Oh ho ho…  not so fast!  Bear with me here, people, for a short word study.  The word translated “inn” in this verse is the Greek word “kataluma” or “katalyma”.  This word is used only two other times in the New Testament, in Mark 14:14 and Luke 22:11.  In both of these cases, Jesus is instructing the disciples about how to find the GUEST ROOM in which they are to prepare the Passover seder.  That’s right - in both these other uses, bibles translate the word as guest room.  So why is it translated “inn” in Luke 2:7?  And to further emphasize the weirdness of the “inn” translation, in Luke 10:34 (the ending of the parable of the Good Samaritan) is found the word “pandocheion” - a word commonly known in the ancient Middle East to refer to a commercial inn (it wormed its way as a Greek root into Armenian, Coptic, Arabic and Turkish languages, which still use it to refer to commercial inns).  Luke was very careful about details in his gospel - if he’d meant to describe a commercial inn in Luke 2:7, wouldn’t he have used the word that most clearly meant commercial inn (especially when he used the word in verse 10:34)?  Bailey argues, and I agree, that Luke likely intended 2:7 to read “…because there was no place for them in the guest room.”   Check out the other uses of the word listed in the Strong’s Concordance here…  http://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/greek/kjv/kataluma.html

But what about the “manger”?  As I mentioned in post #1, mangers were apparently common in middle eastern peasant homes (Bailey says they exist even today in some places).  The home was built on a slope, and the entrance was located at the bottom.  The door opened into a “foyer/stable” of sorts, where the family kept their animals at night.  This practice kept the animals safe from predators, and also acted as a home heating system.  The family room adjoined this foyer/stable, and at the back of the house was another room set aside specifically for guests (that’s the guest room that was already occupied when Mary and Joseph arrived - sometimes this room was located on the roof of the home).  In between the foyer/stable and the family room were mangers where the family would place feed for the animals to consume during the night.  These mangers were where Mary placed her baby.  (Note - this home could also have been located in a cave with a similar layout, rendering the Eastern Orthodox cave tradition completely valid.)

Bailey is not the first to discuss these ideas - he refers to four other sources that either comment on the translation discrepancy, the common architecture of Middle Eastern peasant homes, and/or possible links between the two.  Bailey lists other Bible references that describe or imply a house set up in the above style (1 Kings 17:19; Judges 11:29-40; Matthew 5:14, 15; Luke 13:10-17).  

Luke gives no indication that Mary gave birth the night she and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem.  Verse 6 just says “While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child”.  We don’t know if that means days or weeks, but Mary’s cousin lived nearby in the hill country of Judea, and Joseph would certainly have moved himself and Mary to Elizabeth’s house if there weren’t adequate accommodations in Bethlehem.  (The notion that Mary gave birth the night that she and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem comes from a 200AD novel called “The Protoevangelium of James”, which was about as historically accurate as “The Da Vinci Code” and also included some fascinating mysticism.)

In the modern USA, homeless people sleep on the streets all the time, so the thought of a family left stranded in a city with no place to stay doesn’t seem far-fetched (I was in that position myself one time in the past when backpacking with college friends in Europe).  But Bailey says THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN in Middle Eastern village cultures.  If the holy family had been improperly housed, the whole village would have experienced enormous communal shame.  A visiting family left stranded in such a culture is extremely unlikely.  The village would have taken pride in giving hospitality to any and all strangers, and especially to a descendant of David (given that Bethlehem was also known as “The City of David”).  Village woman (who have cared for each other through childbirth for centuries) would have welcomed Mary as one of their own and seen to it that her first birth was as comfortable and as safe as possible.    

Not to mention the shepherds.  If they had found the holy family in substandard conditions, they would immediately have invited Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus to come home with them.  They would have counted themselves as honor-bound not to leave a new family alone.  Frankly, I find this to be the most convincing piece of evidence listed so far.  Bailey, in a sermon I heard online (tried to find it - will insert link to it when I do), asks us to imagine a shepherd discovering the couple alone and looking in horror at his friends, then saying “Oh young ones!  Come home with me!  My wife will take care of you!  Come, she loves to cook for strangers, please, I insist!  No no, Joseph, I will not take no for an answer!”.  Except that didn’t happen.  The shepherds left the family “glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen…”.  All that they had heard and seen - no way would these shepherds have rejoiced over a new family left alone and uncared for.  

Bailey has a short (for an academic piece) article explaining this evidence in more detail here…  https://www.biblearchaeology.org/post/2008/11/08/The-Manger-and-the-Inn.aspx#Article 

If you’re currently thinking “Golly, this sounds crazy and full of logical holes” - please let me know - I would love to correct my ideas if there is evidence to do so.  I don’t like holding on to erroneous beliefs for no reason.  So bring on the contrary evidence if you know of any…

Maybe you’re just thinking something more along the lines of… “Gee, Steph, all this is interesting, sure, but why does it matter!  The story we traditionally tell about Christmas is so beautiful and packed with so many good messages - what’s wrong with leaving well enough alone!”.  

Stay tuned for the final and third part of my series…

Why the truth matters!  (particularly about Christmas)

      Ok ok - I haven’t invented the time machine, so all of this can’t be proven by any eyewitness accounts, but I really no longer believe that Jesus was born in a stable - at least the way we think of it.  No, I believe instead that Jesus was born in a simple two-room peasant home.   

      Most of us have very well-established ideas about what the Nativity story looks like.  Its in our songs, our decorations, our liturgy, our movies - we KNOW this story backwards, forwards, and upside-down.  The only “new” takes we tend to get are ever more stories about ever more obscure characters.  I’ve seen the Christmas story told from the perspective of Mary, the shepherds, the angels, the fictional fourth wise man, a roman centurion’s son, and even from the perspective of the animals (still missing the perspective of the Innkeeper’s third wife - anyone want to take a crack at that?)

      A few years ago, an elder at our church gave a sermon at Christmastime based on the work of a somewhat obscure theologian named Kenneth Bailey (I say “somewhat”, because I’m pretty sure every biblical scholar on the planet has heard of him, but Bailey has given little effort to popularizing his work, which I rather like him for).  I acquired the book “Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes” some short time later, and began having daily fainting episodes through the sheer joy of reading it cover to cover while my children begged me to put it down and get up from the breakfast table.  Given that my children were very small, it took a year to read.  And it rocked my world.  If you’ve heard all this before, forgive me, but to me it was brand spankin’ new information.

      This guy knows what he’s talking about.  He grew up in Egypt (a missionary kid) and then spent forty years teaching New Testament in seminaries and institutes in Egypt, Lebanon, Jerusalem and Cyprus.  He’s lived through wars, he seems in his writings to be just as comfortable with the impoverished as with the rich, and his academic credentials are impressive - not mention he’s a fantastic writer and speaker (he currently lives in Pittsburgh, PA).  I’m saying all this great stuff about Bailey because a lot of you are already skeptical about what I’m going to share.  You like the Christmas story just the way it is, thank you very much.  You suspect that I’ve dug up some crackpot theory with a provocative title just to get a blog post to go viral.  Sorry, people - Bailey is the real deal.  Pay attention!

      Lets review (one more time!) the “traditional” Nativity story…  Mary and Joseph arrive in crowded Bethlehem in the middle of the night.  Mary has been riding on a donkey for days, and is going into labor.  The heartless innkeeper tells them the inn is full, but offers them a spot in the barn.  (Some Eastern Orthodox traditions teach that Mary and Joseph found shelter in a cave).  Desperate, Joseph settles his wife down in the hay, she gives birth, and they wrap Jesus in swaddling clothes and place him in the manger.  The shepherds (who are extremely low-class citizens) are visited by angels, and proceed afterwards to the barn to worship the newborn Jesus.  They leave rejoicing and telling everyone in town the good news.  The Savior has come and the first persons to know about it are the low-class shepherds!  What an upside-down, good news kingdom!

      Now try this story on for size…  Mary and Joseph WALK for days to get to Bethlehem (because they probably couldn’t afford a donkey - I didn’t even get this tidbit from Bailey - I’ve heard it for a long time, and if you want evidence ask me to write another post about it).  Hospitality being what it is in village life in the Middle East, Joseph - a descendant of David - is welcomed into the town of Bethlehem (also called “The City of David”).  A distant relative offers to share his humble two-room peasant home with the couple, and Joseph accepts.  The host’s guest room is already filled, so Mary and Joseph stay with the family in the main room of the house.  After they’ve been there for some days, Mary goes into labor.  The house is cleared of men out of respect for Mary’s privacy, and the village midwives and women surround her with care and help her give birth safely.  After Jesus is born, the women wrap him in swaddling clothes and place him in the manger, located between the entryway of the house (where the animals are kept at night) and the main living area.  

      That night, angels appear to shepherds in the countryside.  Hard for us to imagine in the USA, not having a class system quite like some others in the world, but shepherds were the untouchables of their day.  When they hear the angel urging them to see the Savior for themselves, they’re a little nervous.  Any proper household would tell unkempt shepherds to scram if they showed up at the door.  But the angel says “Hey, don’t worry, guys!  The baby is in a MANGER!  Just like the ones you have in your own homes - the Savior is a peasant like you!  You won’t be rejected - go and rejoice without fear!”.  The shepherds arrive, they see the baby happy and content with Mary, and party their heads off worshipping for the rest of the night.  The Savior has come, and has come to the poor and humble of the world.  

A little different, eh?  

Are you intrigued?  Angry?  Skeptical?  

Stay tuned for part #2 of this series…  The Evidence!  

(This is so much FUN, ain’t it!)

(or, an Extrovert Hikes Solo)

My story begins yesterday.

Yesterday, I had very specific plans for the weekend.  Tim and I would take turns giving each other alone time, and then today after church we would drive up to one of our favorite places to picnic with the boys and enjoy the perfect fall weather and the infusion of yellow aspen leaves.  

I asked Tim yesterday if he was interested in this plan.  Tim hates planning, plus he was busy surfing the internet, so he said “yeah, sure”.  So I completed this plan by explaining that we would pack up the car with everything we needed before leaving for church, and then we could go straight from church to our wonderful picnicking site.  

This morning, the plan imploded.  Tim felt railroaded, and said he would much rather spend the afternoon doing projects in the garage.  Then the kids outvoted me, saying they would much rather go to the science museum.  I knew they needed to get out of the house, so I grudgingly agreed to submit my wishes to theirs.  

This sucked.  First of all, I knew without a doubt that my entire family was certifiably crazy for NOT wanting to see the ONLY cool thing about fall in Colorado on one of the only weekends it can be seen.  All this meant that we “weren’t the kind of family” that enjoyed nature together.  My children would grow up never getting to experience the outdoors, and I would be a failure as a parent.  I felt like crying all morning at church, and complained loudly to everyone who would listen about how I wasn’t getting what I wanted.  

And I wondered why most everyone I talked to at church seemed to run away after a minute or two?

After church Tim floored me with the following comment.  ”I don’t know…  I LIKE the science museum.  I think I might want to go”.

This is what happens when a planner-lover marries a spontaneous person.  Lots of elaborate plans get made, and then they get unmade, and then they get changed at the last second.

I, significantly confused and more than a little irritated, pointed out to him how loudly he had stated how much he really needed time to do his project in the garage.  I also pointed out how much I didn’t want to go to the museum.  Was he perhaps willing to take the boys instead of me? 

“Yeah, I think I would” said my sweet and confusing husband.  ”And maybe” he added “you could see if you could borrow someone’s car and then you could go up to the mountains yourself?”

I spent the next hour weeping on and off while Tim and the boys finished last minute preparations for the drive to Denver.  My thoughts went as follows…

“But I’ve never hiked by myself before!  Ever!  In my whole 33 years of life!  Will I even have FUN hiking by myself?  Is it safe to hike by myself?”  (It was 2pm, broad daylight)

“But, I told everyone that I wouldn’t GET to go hiking!  I complained about it!  What will they think when I tell them that I got everything I wanted after all!”  (Notice the denial about what everyone must ALREADY be thinking of me).

“But, I didn’t want just to be in nature!  I wanted to be there with my FAMILY.  And if they’re not with me, it’s not really what I want!  Maybe I should go with them to the museum?  What if I don’t go and I miss out on some really awesome experience with them!”

“But, its TIM who’s the introvert.  He needs more alone time than I do.  I already got a few hours yesterday.  If he doesn’t get any alone time today, he’ll be grouchy and resentful of me, and he’ll hold it over me!” 

After a smidgeon of self-examination, this all turned into…  ”But, I don’t deserve to get what I want!  Not after the way I’ve been acting!” 

The Holy Spirit sat me down at this point.  He looked me in the eye and said…

Steph, you DON’T want to be in a museum today, do you.

“no” said a very small me

Steph, if you go to the museum, you will spend the whole time you are there resenting your family for not doing what you want to do, won’t you?

“yes”

And Steph, hon, Tim isn’t a jerk.  You know him better than that.

(some hiccuping from me, and just as I’m about to tell God “BUT!”, I hear…)

Steph, I’m aware of the bitterness and resentment haunting you today.  I’m also aware of how very much you’ve tried to submit to Me and lovingly care for your family.  Your desire to be in My creation has good roots behind it - your soul needs a little time there to help you be close to Me.  You haven’t taken the time to be with just Me in awhile.  We need to spend some time together so I can work all that bad stuff out of your heart.

“(hiccup)”

Call your neighbor, Steph.  I know you aren’t sure if its ok to ask this of her, but do it.  

So I did.  And I had a really REALLY nice time leisurely hiking the trails up by Mud Lake just past Nederland.  

I got to see this…

I think it might be the road less travelled!

and this…

Tim and the boys had a fantastic time together at the science museum.

I got the extreme pleasure that night of hearing my 6 year old tell me in great detail about all the exciting things he had done that afternoon.  And he was totally interested in looking at pictures of my hike.  We wouldn’t have had that time if we hadn’t gone our separate ways.  

God, thanks for helping my heart.  Raise the roof for grace!

a low-quality introductory course video makes you want to weep with joy.